Be gentle. Be kind. Be compassionate. Be understanding. Slow down.
For a long time, I have strongly believed and felt that we, humans, are moving too fast. We want everything now, and as we race around trying to accomplish every possible thing in the shortest time span, we are going against our nature.
Technology may be changing and growing, but our nervous systems and immune systems are not. Our cells aren't replicating or healing at a faster rate, yet we act like we are machines. We are not machines, and our human bodies are getting all used up--burning out.
For me, CFS has shown that I need to take care of myself first. Just like the airlines tell adults travelling with children to place the oxygen masks over their own face first, I have to put me first. A lifelong people pleaser, always making sure everyone else is happy before tending to my own needs, I have treated myself with very little love and respect. I have thrown it away on people who didn't even want it, all the while I was right here needing to receive from myself. I have given my own self the least amount of attention, allowing myself the scraps of whatever energy I have leftover after tending to others' needs.
CFS is a task master of sorts. If I do not care for myself, the punishment comes in the form of many horrible symptoms that make living seem worthless. Imagine if you decided on some New Year's resolutions, and then when you gave them up, you felt very ill. Eventually you would feel somewhat better, but if you continued to stop adhering to your new resolutions, you would fall ill again. You would be forced to stick to your resolutions, and for me, with CFS I am forced to take better care of myself. That is actually a gift, odd though it may seem.
Possibly harder than feeling fatigued, sickly, and weak, feeling better is more challenging. How so? Well, when I feel better, I want to do so many things, because I am excited to feel pretty good again. The danger is in overdoing it and falling back into a state of unwell being. That would be me following my "New Year's resolution" which is to take care of myself, which includes pacing myself on good days.
Be gentle, because with or without CFS, I think we are all too hard on ourselves and others. In the past, I have exercised to the point of injury just trying to look good in clothing. Why? Is that loving myself? That's not healthy. Exercise is good, but it should also be enjoyable. Also, be gentle when you make a mistake or relapse. The mental abuse we unleash on ourselves (or others) can be horrific. So things didn't go as planned. So you are super dizzy, constipated, and exhausted today. It's OK.
Be kind. Be kind to yourself and all other living creatures. The world is so full of anger and hate and the macho "no pain no gain" attitude that it needs more kindness to balance it out. Being kind to yourself and others actually feels really good, too. It is a gift to give someone some kindness, even if just in a "hello."
Be compassionate. You will never know how someone else feels. Maybe you would handle the situation he or she is in differently, but that is because you are you. The other person isn't weak or sorry. She or he is dealing with her or his feelings as best as she or he can. We are all doing our best at every moment of every day, and even my best today cannot be compared to my best yesterday. Same goes for everyone else.
Be understanding. Open your mind to the idea that what other people feel or think is and never will be anything you could fathom. Know they are where they are for a reason, and getting frustrated or constantly asking 'why' or trying to change them won't help anybody.
And please, slow down. I believe so many people are ill with CFS and Fibromyalgia and many other immune disorders because we aren't living in the present. As I stated earlier, the human body never has and never will move as fast as a computer or other technological creation. Stop and smell the roses. Really do it, your body will thank you.
Love and peace for all.
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